life is pain only

why
endure the suffering to the end
when the disease kills us always
the living-disease

such perfect pleasure
such purest pain
like poison pills, insecticide
pistols, bullet holes, penises

bereavement in a blister pack
an opportunity for success – pop! –
into the silver blue pool – pop! –
slitting the dolphin open with razor blades

plush blue blush of blood
poison water into the abdomen
a half cup of apple seeds
a pre-pubescent epiphany

to gush away
from the agony
of your unendurable beauty
is the answer in soliloquy