dolt

put the penis in there
then see how we chop it off
it's a nice surprise -- see!
now you try.

i very gently engage the handle
and with one effortless snip
i am become a whole woman

with blood on the floor
and a chopped off penis
i put it in the bin on the way out
'enjoy your new life'
the nice attendant says

i walk through town
leaving a trail of blood
idly looking in the window of a few shops

when i notice he's looking at me
the hairy man with a red nose
(i can see him in the reflection)

i start to run but it's getting late
he just keeps following i catch a quick look
think he has a knife in his hand

so i start trotting and rush towards a bar
press in through the door
it's warm inside i sit down and order

a gin and tonic. but then i notice everyone looking
groups of guys, there's blood all over my legs
of course so i finish my drink

and open my handbag and grab my phone
then quickly call the number
which is the number of the bomb

and the entire bar explodes killing everyone
except me as it is a special man bomb
(it only kills men as it targets dicks) so i am quite safe

walking over the entrails and broken glass
i nearly slip in my new high heels
but steady myself on a piece of man's jugular hanging from the window

it's not a very firm support
but it'll do for a few seconds
while i regain control