egg or sperm (who came first?)

since i fired that bullet
which has ricochet off bones
through the tired body of
all my relationships hitting
various vital organs on the way
to the heart - since then it has
exited via an armpit and continues
through my life passing through
complete strangers even today
when i was driving it smashed
a kangaroo as i thought about you
and forgot to break

what makes us hurt one another?
it is all just talking and soapy
water why does it get in our eyes?
i have food on the table a roof
over my head the sun is creating
spring for another year human affairs
continue for ten thousand years
and then bid for the next ten thousand
where does this affair fairy come from
and where has she now flown why is this
bullet so cruel, so sharp, so cold
when the gun is still warm

the bullet has passed through the bible
and all our precious leaders it haunts
the pages of tabloids and is buried
in the back garden with grandma and
the distant relatives, who maybe aren't
even relatives in the biological sense
it takes out whole careers, alters
destinies, fulfills, tantalises
teases trashes everyone it touches
even to speak of it is to risk ruination
or being 'found out'

it creates children but they are
all bastards ashamed of themselves
peevish and naughty little boys
who go on to have fabulous careers
in business or the government
ashamed of their origin they invent
a code for others to follow
this is published in a little book that
is handed out to the male citizenry
a little electronic book of
live blog feeds porn email
stocks and shares poker ties
first person shooting games etc

i wish that bullet would come back
and hit me in the head
between the eyes. i wish i could
know it again as it burrowed
back into the brain in which it was
formed where my last thought would be
"My flesh has been transformed
into the pure light of artistic expression
these feelings have attained the
fountain of knowledge to which they
aspire and my life as a human
being is finally over"